DUB is doing so well but i am not, i feel like im dieing inside and noone can say or do anything to make this pain go away. im scared to see dubs counts. i don't wanna lose my baby. Why is this my life/ why is my baby suffering? why cant i contol the voices in my head? why am I this? why does my husband love me but cant be around me? WHAT DID i DO TO DESERVE THIS? i wanna be NORMAL........ i WANNA HAVE HEALTHY KIDS AND HAVE A NORMAL LIFE SO BAD. I CANT SLEEP, IM SO ANXIOUS, I TOOK A SLEEPING PILL AND I STILL CANT SLEEP. ITS BEEN 3 HOURS COME ON PILL WORK... iM AT HOME ALL ALONE. JJ is asleep next to me so soundly, he's so cute, does he know he has a brother? i WISH I COULD BE WITH BOTH MY KIDS TOGETHER..... WHEN WILL THIS HELL IN MY LIFE EVER END.